Visions For Change Newsletter

March is almost over….

Posted on: March 26th, 2013 by Judith Tremblay No Comments

March is always a busy month for me, and this year is no exception. I have been busy with appointments and working on a mountain of paperwork as one contract ends (and involves a quarterly report and an annual one!) and two more begin.

I contribute a short stress busting tip on the Neworld Tuesday shows. I was the guest on the Neworld No Cost Thursday show last week and presented 10 Stress Busting Tips in more detail. Continuing in the managing stress theme, I am also working on my ebook, Stress Less, which I hope to have available soon.

And I can’t forget to mention “Path to Self-Acceptance”, the weekly email program to encourage and support you in loving and nurturing yourself, which started in March. If you are interested in checking that out, just click here.

In the middle of all this, I ended up with a computer virus, and could not use my computer for a couple of days last week. Thank goodness for my notebook! I was unable to access my documents, but was able to keep up with emails and some other important stuff. Lesson learned – I have purchased an external hard drive, so my important documents will be available anytime, anywhere! Funny how my presentation training taught me to be prepared for any possibility while giving presentations, but it never occurred to me to have a back-up drive for my everyday work!

And, oh, yes, I also finally created my Facebook page for Paths To Change. If you haven’t “liked” it yet, I would appreciate it if you could take the time to do that, and invite your friends, too! I will be sharing quotes along with tips to help you deal with your everyday ups and downs, and welcome any questions and ideas you might have as well.

It seems that just yesterday it was the beginning of the new year, and we are already heading into spring and the second quarter of the year. It has been a productive one so far for me, and I am looking forward to sharing information and ideas with you on your path to making positive changes in your life.

This might be a good time to talk about being able to say “no”. Sometimes we value other people’s time more than our own, and find ourselves saying “yes” to doing something when what we really wanted to say was “no”. Other reasons for not being able to say “no”, include being afraid we won’t be liked, not wanting to feel pressured or guilty if we say no, not wanting to let someone else down, the other person might think we’re selfish – you get the idea!

Everyone has the right to say “no”. So, how can you say no in a way that is respectful of the person asking and helps you not to feel guilty or selfish?

* If you really want to but are legitimately busy, say so. If they can’t wait, they can always ask someone else.
* If you aren’t available, or interested, offer to give them the name of someone who might be able to help.
* If it is something you really hate to do, you can refuse, and then offer to help with something that you enjoy.
* Say that you really don’t have the time to add any new projects right now – your schedule is as full as you can want it to be.
* Block time for yourself in your schedule, and be able to say that I am committed to keeping that time for myself.
* Say you have another commitment. It may be a doctor’s appointment or a play date with your child or date night with your significant other. The point is, you are not available.

I hope those hints are helpful.

And, I wish all of you a very Happy Easter! And lots of Chocolate!!

3 Tips to a Healthy Relationship

Posted on: March 17th, 2013 by Judith Tremblay No Comments

3 Tips to a Healthy Relationship

With such a fast pace of life, career and job uncertainties, financial strain, and many other pressures, our relationships can take a back seat and for some of us, our relationship health comes under severe stress. This can lead to feelings of rejection, loneliness, and ultimately, resentment towards the person you’re in a relationship with.

Here are a few tips to keep your relationship strong, especially in stressful times:

1. Set Big Goals
Set big goals for yourself, as well as big goals together to ensure you grow as individuals and as a couple. In this day and age, it’s not uncommon for people to go through career changes in their 30′s, 40′s or 50′s. Some are starting a business which also has the potential to add strain to a relationship and vice versa when things aren’t going so well. When you don’t have anything big to move towards, your behavior can very easily become misdirected and you could possibly find yourself on the hamster wheel going nowhere in a hurry. Your goals should be so big that when you wake up in the morning, you’re excited to get a move on your day, as you will be one step closer to achieving what you want in your life. Make sure to also take an hour during the day just to think, create, relax or to do whatever it is that you do to unwind. Get an agenda to record your goals and schedule time for yourself every day.

2. Identify Your Values
Determine what’s important to you first and foremost, then find out what’s important to your lover for both of you to be happy and content in a relationship as well as in the bedroom. In other words, identify each other’s relationship and sex values, then honor them to the best of your ability while keeping in mind that similar values are the glue that keeps you together, while different values can create conflict when we unknowingly step on them with each other. Values are the things that are most important to you at the core of your being. Once established, a game plan can be created that ensures both of your values are being met. Ask your significant other the following question, “What’s important to you about your relationship?” Write down a list and put them in order with each other. Also inform each other what each value means to you. Respect to one person could have a different meaning another as we all have our own model of the world.

3. Set Boundaries
Learn how to set boundaries. If you have an annoying in-law that shows up at your house unannounced at inconvenient times, you lack boundaries. Boundaries bring peace and harmony into your lives. If you are in distress over trying to take a bit of alone time, constantly being accused of something, you lack boundaries. Boundaries are the things we stand up for and tend to call deal-breakers. Oftentimes and with new families, boundaries are often pushed up against and out of avoidance of confrontation, we remain silent and stew inside. Drama always persists where boundaries do not exist.

Everyone wants to enjoy romantic, loving, respectful relationships, however, they’re not always easy to create, especially when you’re stuck in emotional patterns from the past. The good news is you can nurture your mental health by becoming empowered. From a place of personal empowerment, achieving the above three tips becomes much easier and can really be fun.

Sometimes, we just need more internal resources and one of the most powerful and effective is Time Line Therapy. Time Line Therapy is a tool used to achieve emotional freedom from the past very quickly and easily without having to re-live the event or having to get into detail about it.

There are several seminars and presentations taught throughout the Greater Sudbury area each month. You can also schedule a Private Couples Empowerment Weekend to bring the honeymoon phase back into your relationship.

Re-claim the responsibility for creating joy in your life and use the 3 tips to a healthy relationship to strengthen the bond between you and enjoy a new-found understanding and connection between each other.

Joanna L. Cox actively engages individuals and couples in their pursuit to achieve success in their lives, increase their impact, influence, personal excellence and improve their confidence, creativity, and work/life balance.

A noted Clinical Hypnotherapist, Time Line Therapist, & Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming (NLP), Joanna is one of only a handful of professionals in Canada to hold ABH-ABNLP & TLTA board certifications at the Trainer level. Joanna has a private practice in the South end of Sudbury and also holds individual & couples empowerment weekends at resorts across Canada and the United States.
http://www.shiftyourmindset.ca/

A Stolen Life

Posted on: March 10th, 2013 by Judith Tremblay No Comments

I was searching for a story about love to include in my February newsletter. My husband was talking to a friend of his who now lives in Spain and is the caregiver for his wife who has Alzheimer’s. This friend mentioned the poetry he has written over the years, and that one of his poems was about his wife.

Thank you, Eamon, for providing this heartfelt poem for me to share with my readers. With your caring and thoughtfulness of your wife, and other family and friends as well, you are truly an inspiration.A

A Stolen Life
With a beautiful face and long dark hair,
she entered the class while I sat there.
I looked at her and fell in love,
she’s truly a gift from God above.
We soon got married and settled down,
and bought a house in the middle of town.
I went to work and she stayed home,
she ran the house and didn’t moan.
Our family soon became of four,
we couldn’t have wished for anything more.
A boy and girl the perfect pair,
and a mother and father that they could share.
We saw our children starting school,
and helped them learn at the swimming pool.
As time went by they wanted to roam,
and we enjoyed our new quiet home.
With our new found freedom we started anew,
and our life took on a different view.
We grew more close with every day,
and learned to live on a pensioner’s pay.
Then slowly my wife could not remember,
she didn’t even know it was December.
My name, our children were soon forgot,
something had caused her brain to lock.
At present I’m nursing a memory,
because my wife has forgotten me.
Feeding and washing is now my life,
and I do it daily because I love my wife.
We’ve had our ups and downs in life,
and now my duty is for my wife.
My love for her is as strong as ever,
and from her side I’ll leave her never.
The instant I saw her I fell in love,
so truly a gift from God above.
There’s nothing more to write or say,
Alzheimer’s stole my wife today.

Eamon Doran 18th September, 2011

A little about stress

Posted on: February 28th, 2013 by Judith Tremblay No Comments

Sometimes, when you have no control over a situation, you have to go with the flow and repeat the Serenity Prayer over and over…..or count to 1, 2, 3, ……

Stress. Everybody has it. Some more than others. I have often said that if it wasn’t for the skills I have learned and practiced over the years, I would have succumbed to the ravages of chronic stress long ago.

It is interesting that good stress can be detrimental when accumulated with all the other stress in our lives. We have relationship stress, financial stress, emotional stress, work/job stress, caregiver stress and environmental stress. Changes produce stress. Delays produce stress.

Before you get too stressed here, (smile and take some deep breaths) let me just say that stress does not have to overwhelm you. There are many ways to build your immunity. I like to compare it to putting a little bit of money away each pay so that when the big expense comes, the money is there. In the same way, if you practice good stress management skills and have a good routine, you will more easily deal with your own accumulated stress.

If you have been putting off beginning your stress management program, I would encourage you to stop procrastinating and begin now. Chronic stress leads to all sorts of physical and emotional health problems, like abdominal fat, heart conditions and addictions. People tell me regularly that they just don’t have the time to spend on learning new skills. Guess what? That’s when you really need to take the time!

If you missed my Stress Buster of the Week last year, and even if you received them, you may be interested in the ebook I will have available this spring. It provides a different strategy for managing stress each week of the year. I am also available for one on one coaching through your stressful times. I can also help you to identify the skills you currently use to manage stress and suggest some new strategies to add to your to your stress tool kit.

Moving on, I hope you enjoy this month’s newsletter. I am grateful to my contributors this month, Joanna Cox and Eamon Doran.
As a special thank you to you, my readers, I am providing a link to a really good video – hope you enjoy it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj2ofrX7jAk&feature=em-share_video_user

A Cracked Pot

Posted on: February 15th, 2013 by Judith Tremblay No Comments

A Cracked Pot
A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master’s house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.” “Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?” “I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half of my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts,” the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path”. Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”

Unlike the perfect pot, each of us has our own unique flaws. It is more difficult to accept your flaws if you compare your insides to other’s outsides. We are all cracked pots.

Getting Organized

Posted on: February 8th, 2013 by Judith Tremblay No Comments

Since the launch of A New Leaf in 2006, Cathy Mendler has extended her reach beyond the needs of her own clients to inspire individuals and businesses across Canada to organize their space, increase their productivity and simplify their lives.

RESOLVING TO GET ORGANIZED
Whether you need to organize your home, your office–or both–here are some ideas to help you succeed. Let’s get started and turn over another leaf!

Planning
Set aside some time to think about what you want to organize. Make yourself a cup of your favourite hot drink. Grab a pen and some paper. Did you know that if you write down your goals, you are more likely to achieve them?

Create a Master List
Go through your house thinking about one room at a time. Take photos of each room; decorators say you’re able to view it more objectively. Determine what functions each room has to fulfill. If the room has to perform multiple functions, create a different zone for each activity.

Your master list should contain all of the projects that you want to complete. Estimate how long you think each project will take. Be realistic.

The next step is to prioritize your list, and determine which room you will work on first. It’s best to start with the room that causes you the most stress.

Scheduling
When you schedule organizing sessions in your planner or calendar, you’re making a commitment to do the required work.

You may not be able to complete a room all at once. If necessary, divide it into sections, and work on one section at a time. If you only have one hour, pick a project from your list that you can complete in that time period.

Keep in mind that you don’t have to do all the work yourself. If you want to organize a number of areas, schedule a family meeting. Involving the whole family in the process can teach them valuable life-long skills. Just remember that children can’t stay focused as long as an adult. Try to make it fun!

It’s also a good idea to schedule a snack break; prepare snacks ahead of time. Plan ahead–when cooking, double a recipe and freeze one batch. At the end of the day when you’re tired, you’ll have an easy meal!

Supplies
Stock up–garbage bags, recycle bin, empty boxes, cleaning supplies, rubber gloves, etc. Label boxes—Keep, Sell and Donate.

Use storage containers that you already own—the ones you emptied when you de-cluttered. For some items, you may need to purge before you can determine what type of containers you need.

Getting Started
Harold Taylor, a leading Canadian time management expert, tells us studies have found that you’ll accomplish more if you focus on one task at a time.

Gather together everything you want to store in an area before you start organizing that space. Start by grouping similar items together, so it’s easier to make a decision about what to keep. Place items that belong elsewhere in a box just outside the room. It’s easy to become distracted if you leave the room.

Resist the urge to tell yourself, “I may need it someday.” Remember to REDUCE, REUSE and RECYCLE.

Take a break–set a timer–to keep up your energy level. This is especially important when working with children.

Storage
Similar items should be stored together and as close as possible to where they are used. An item is more likely to be put back if its home is close at hand.

Clear storage containers should be used as much as possible, so you can see what is inside. Be sure to label all containers.

Maintenance
Maintaining your organized space will require some effort from everyone. Make tidying up part of your children’s chores. Schedule a daily or weekly clean-up time, so things don’t get out of control. If you find something isn’t working, don’t give up. Schedule a family meeting; a small change may be all that’s required.

Rewards
When you’re done, don’t forget to reward your children and yourself for all your hard work!

For more organizing solutions, check Cathy’s website:
http://anewleaforganizers.ca/

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