Guest Contribution

3 Tips to a Healthy Relationship

Posted on: March 17th, 2013 by Judith Tremblay No Comments

3 Tips to a Healthy Relationship

With such a fast pace of life, career and job uncertainties, financial strain, and many other pressures, our relationships can take a back seat and for some of us, our relationship health comes under severe stress. This can lead to feelings of rejection, loneliness, and ultimately, resentment towards the person you’re in a relationship with.

Here are a few tips to keep your relationship strong, especially in stressful times:

1.    Set Big Goals
Set big goals for yourself, as well as big goals together to ensure you grow as individuals and as a couple. In this day and age, it’s not uncommon for people to go through career changes in their 30′s, 40′s or 50′s. Some are starting a business which also has the potential to add strain to a relationship and vice versa when things aren’t going so well. When you don’t have anything big to move towards, your behavior can very easily become misdirected and you could possibly find yourself on the hamster wheel going nowhere in a hurry. Your goals should be so big that when you wake up in the morning, you’re excited to get a move on your day, as you will be one step closer to achieving what you want in your life.  Make sure to also take an hour during the day just to think, create, relax or to do whatever it is that you do to unwind. Get an agenda to record your goals and schedule time for yourself every day.

2.    Identify Your Values
Determine what’s important to you first and foremost, then find out what’s important to your lover for both of you to be happy and content in a relationship as well as in the bedroom. In other words, identify each other’s relationship and sex values, then honor them to the best of your ability while keeping in mind that similar values are the glue that keeps you together, while different values can create conflict when we unknowingly step on them with each other.  Values are the things that are most important to you at the core of your being.  Once established, a game plan can be created that ensures both of your values are being met. Ask your significant other the following question, “What’s important to you about your relationship?” Write down a list and put them in order with each other. Also inform each other what each value means to you. Respect to one person could have a different meaning another as we all have our own model of the world.

3.     Set Boundaries
Learn how to set boundaries. If you have an annoying in-law that shows up at your house unannounced at inconvenient times, you lack boundaries. Boundaries bring peace and harmony into your lives.  If you are in distress over trying to take a bit of alone time, constantly being accused of something, you lack boundaries. Boundaries are the things we stand up for and tend to call deal-breakers. Oftentimes and with new families, boundaries are often pushed up against and out of avoidance of confrontation, we remain silent and stew inside. Drama always persists where boundaries do not exist.

Everyone wants to enjoy romantic, loving, respectful relationships, however, they’re not always easy to create, especially when you’re stuck in emotional patterns from the past. The good news is you can nurture your mental health by becoming empowered.  From a place of personal empowerment, achieving the above three tips becomes much easier and can really be fun.

Sometimes, we just need more internal resources and one of the most powerful and effective is Time Line Therapy. Time Line Therapy is a tool used to achieve emotional freedom from the past very quickly and easily without having to re-live the event or having to get into detail about it.

There are several seminars and presentations taught throughout the Greater Sudbury area each month. You can also schedule a Private Couples Empowerment Weekend to bring the honeymoon phase back into your relationship.

Re-claim the responsibility for creating joy in your life and use the 3 tips to a healthy relationship to strengthen the bond between you and enjoy a new-found understanding and connection between each other.

Joanna L. Cox actively engages individuals and couples in their pursuit to achieve success in their lives, increase their impact, influence, personal excellence and improve their confidence, creativity, and work/life balance.

A noted Clinical Hypnotherapist, Time Line Therapist, & Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic-Programming (NLP), Joanna is one of only a handful of professionals in Canada to hold ABH-ABNLP & TLTA board certifications at the Trainer level. Joanna has a private practice in the South end of  Sudbury and also holds individual & couples empowerment weekends at resorts across Canada and the United States.
http://www.shiftyourmindset.ca/


Getting Organized

Posted on: February 8th, 2013 by Judith Tremblay No Comments

Since the launch of A New Leaf in 2006, Cathy Mendler has extended her reach beyond the needs of her own clients to inspire individuals and businesses across Canada to organize their space, increase their productivity and simplify their lives.

RESOLVING TO GET ORGANIZED
Whether you need to organize your home, your office–or both–here are some ideas to help you succeed. Let’s get started and turn over another leaf!

Planning
Set aside some time to think about what you want to organize. Make yourself a cup of your favourite hot drink. Grab a pen and some paper. Did you know that if you write down your goals, you are more likely to achieve them?

Create a Master List
Go through your house thinking about one room at a time. Take photos of each room; decorators say you’re able to view it more objectively. Determine what functions each room has to fulfill. If the room has to perform multiple functions, create a different zone for each activity.

Your master list should contain all of the projects that you want to complete. Estimate how long you think each project will take. Be realistic.

The next step is to prioritize your list, and determine which room you will work on first. It’s best to start with the room that causes you the most stress.

Scheduling
When you schedule organizing sessions in your planner or calendar, you’re making a commitment to do the required work.

You may not be able to complete a room all at once. If necessary, divide it into sections, and work on one section at a time. If you only have one hour, pick a project from your list that you can complete in that time period.

Keep in mind that you don’t have to do all the work yourself. If you want to organize a number of areas, schedule a family meeting. Involving the whole family in the process can teach them valuable life-long skills. Just remember that children can’t stay focused as long as an adult. Try to make it fun!

It’s also a good idea to schedule a snack break; prepare snacks ahead of time. Plan ahead–when cooking, double a recipe and freeze one batch. At the end of the day when you’re tired, you’ll have an easy meal!

Supplies
Stock up–garbage bags, recycle bin, empty boxes, cleaning supplies, rubber gloves, etc. Label boxes—Keep, Sell and Donate.

Use storage containers that you already own—the ones you emptied when you de-cluttered. For some items, you may need to purge before you can determine what type of containers you need.

Getting Started
Harold Taylor, a leading Canadian time management expert, tells us studies have found that you’ll accomplish more if you focus on one task at a time.

Gather together everything you want to store in an area before you start organizing that space. Start by grouping similar items together, so it’s easier to make a decision about what to keep. Place items that belong elsewhere in a box just outside the room. It’s easy to become distracted if you leave the room.

Resist the urge to tell yourself, “I may need it someday.” Remember to REDUCE, REUSE and RECYCLE.

Take a break–set a timer–to keep up your energy level. This is especially important when working with children.

Storage
Similar items should be stored together and as close as possible to where they are used. An item is more likely to be put back if its home is close at hand.

Clear storage containers should be used as much as possible, so you can see what is inside. Be sure to label all containers.

Maintenance
Maintaining your organized space will require some effort from everyone. Make tidying up part of your children’s chores. Schedule a daily or weekly clean-up time, so things don’t get out of control. If you find something isn’t working, don’t give up. Schedule a family meeting; a small change may be all that’s required.

Rewards
When you’re done, don’t forget to reward your children and yourself for all your hard work!

For more organizing solutions, check Cathy’s website:
http://anewleaforganizers.ca/

Remembrance Traditions by Madeleine Sauve

Posted on: December 26th, 2012 by Judith Tremblay No Comments

My Guest This Month…

 

madeleine sauve “Remembrance Traditions during the Holiday Season”.

The Christmas season can be a difficult time when someone in your life has died.  While everyone is celebrating, you feel sad that this person is not with you during this joyous season.  You may not feel like celebrating or being around people.  

Even though it is a painful time, you can still find meaning in the holidays and in life.  You can celebrate and honour this person’s life by practicing rituals. This Christmas season develop meaningful rituals that will help you remember the person who has died.  Dr. Alan Wolfelt, an author, educator and grief counsellor says:  “During your time of grief, the very rituals of the holidays can help you survive them.”  Here are a few rituals that he suggests during the Christmas season.

  • Light a candle
  • Create a special holiday ceremony or private ritual
  • Buy a gift for the person who died and give it to someone who will appreciate it
  • Make handmade gifts in memory of the person who died
  • Give a gift in the name of the person who died
  • Buy a special ornament for the Christmas tree
  • Attend a remembrance ceremony
  • Assemble a holiday scrapbook or photo album
  • Hang a special stocking
  • Make a memory display
  • Publish a verse in your local newspaper
  • Start a holiday journal
  • Prepare  favourite holiday foods of the person who died

Other things you can do are write the person who has died a letter telling them what they meant to you.  Have a memory circle and tell funny stories about him/her. There are many ways to honour their life.  Come up with your own ritual.

During this time, you also need to be compassionate with yourself and give yourself permission to feel your emotions.  It’s important that you practice self-care.  When we are mourning we often forget to do that.  Get plenty of sleep, eat healthy, go for a walk, exercise, drink water and take time for yourself.

If you are having a difficult time with your grief and would like to talk to someone, call Warmhearts Palliative Caregivers Sudbury/Manitoulin at 705-677-0077 ext. 224.

This article was written by Madeleine Sauvé, Client Services Coordinator/Grief Recovery Specialist with Warmhearts Palliative Caregivers Sudbury/Manitoulin.

 

Guest Contribution

Posted on: May 14th, 2012 by Judith Tremblay No Comments

“Are You Living Your Life Purpose?”

I’m sure you’ve heard the question many times and perhaps you are still pondering the answer! I am often asked by women “how do I figure out my purpose?” Is there a process? Is there a formula? Am I supposed to just know what ‘it’ is? And how can I make money at it?

“Every individual has a place to fill in the world, and is important, in some respect, whether he chooses to be or not.” – Nathanial Hawthorne, 1804-1864

I know that I am blessed because, from a very young age, one thing I knew for certain was that I wanted to be a teacher. While I didn’t go to university and actually progress into that specific career choice, my work in the past 30 years has been that of facilitator, trainer, coach and speaker – that’s as good as being at the front of a classroom, as far as I am concerned.

There were many times, however, on my life journey that I was employed and in various J.O.B.S. – and just going along, day in and day out. Once I had a taste of self-employment though, I was off to the races – but that journey, too, has had many bumps along the way.

So many people go through life unhappy with their careers and their lifestyle because they have never found the answer to that life purpose question. Instead  they have ‘settled’. When you do understand the purpose for your life, you will enter into the greatest joy, peace and place possible.

One of the reasons that many women are ‘stuck’ when it comes to this question is because of past conditioning – living life to someone else’s expectations. In the work I do with my clients, here are some of the typical questions I ask of them – they may help you uncover your own life purpose – and get unstuck.

1. What is one thing that really excites you – that you could do all day long without being paid?

What are some things that you do that actually make your toes curl with absolute joy? Take note, for a few days, and keep a list – for me, when I was in a particular J.O.B. a few years ago, I put a happy face beside the items that really made me happy – and it became quite clear that I needed to get back to the work that I so loved.

2. What is your natural talent?

For me, I realized that it is public speaking. Now you’ve got to understand that when I tell my mother about any new speaking engagement, she cracks right up. Apparently, in elementary school, I was so very shy that she had to literally drag me out from under a chair to get me to go to school. Go figure! Well that changed quickly as I grew into my adult years – for which I am grateful because I not only have the ability, now, to touch many, many lives – but I get paid very well for doing so. What comes to you naturally and how can you turn that into a business?

3. What thoughts or dreams are impossible to get out of your mind?

When I was working at that J.O.B., I gave it my all – I really did – heart, body, mind, spirit and soul – but I wasn’t sleeping at night. While, for the most part, the job was a great fit for me and I knew that I was, in fact, still making a difference – it wasn’t where I belonged. What is keeping you awake at night?

4. What are you prepared to commit to – no matter what? Being an entrepreneur, and having your own business, is no easy feat.

Certainly there are great benefits to it – flexible hours, being your own boss, charging what you’re worth and so on. There is also the ‘down side’ to it – flexible hours, being your own boss and charging what you’re worth – yes sirreee – it’s the same list! I am serious about this. Many women in business struggle, financially, because they do not have the discipline to manage the flexible hours, they feel extremely lonely being their own boss and they have tremendous fear about charging what they’re worth – many feel like a fraud.

5. Where/how have you helped people?

Sometimes the answer is staring you right in the face – you may have been ‘coaching’ people all your life, and didn’t realize that’s what ‘it’ was. Consider having a conversation with some of your good friends – you know, the ones who come to you all the time because of your creativity, your problem-solving, your hospitality – whatever ‘that’ is. Ask them some questions about the outcomes/results that you have provided. Your answer may be right there.

“Take calculated risks. This is quite different from being rash.”
– George S. Patton

Once you have become clear on your purpose, have identified a way to make a business out of it (or, you’re already in that business) then it is essential to have the processes and systems in place to make it viable – so that you can make money. It’s one thing to be living your purpose – but you’re not running a charity!

The critical ‘next steps’ are to create the systems, processes, and procedures necessary so that your business runs like a lean, mean machine. This, my friends, is where many women give up – throw in the towel – because they are exhausted and they are not making any money. They are ‘three feet from gold’!

CONCLUSION

It really IS possible to live your purpose, have a thriving and successful business doing so and touch lives around the world. To be successful, you must know what transformation you offer, be clear about your niche market (or, who needs you out there), charge what you’re worth and stay focused on your talent. This is the formula for living your best life!

Pat is a  Coach, acclaimed international speaker, Author and radio host. For more about Pat Mussieux, please visit: wealthywomenleaders.com

Posted on: February 20th, 2012 by Judith Tremblay No Comments

Thanks Michael for contributing the following article:
Effective Communication

Effective communication is an essential element in our professional as well as our personal lives. Misunderstandings can cost money, time and even relationships. Have you ever stopped to think of ALL the ways in which you are communicating your message every day?  Sometimes… even by doing nothing at all we are communicating a message to our audience.  Whether verbal, non-verbal or written, learning to communicate effectively will help every part of your life, and lucky for us… this is something that we can always work on and improve!

Whether it is via email, telephone, face to face or simply by body language, we are communicating a message to people each and every day.  Here are some steps and tips to help you develop good communication skills.

• Understand the fundamentals of communication.  It is the process of transferring signals and messages between a sender and a receiver.
• Keep a good attitude.  Whatever your attitude… it will reflect on the tone of the conversation!  Be honest, respectful, patient and accepting of others!
• Be conscious of your body language.  It doesn’t matter what your mouth is saying if your body is pushing them away!
• Make eye contact whenever possible.
• Be confident.  Know that what you have to say offers a meaningful contribution to the whole!
• Practice
• Speak clearly
• Listen.  This can be a difficult skill to master.  Most often we simply listen for people to stop talking so we can begin.  Ask yourself… why would anyone listen to MY message if I am not listening to theirs?
• Make sure that you are being clear in the delivery of your message!  Misunderstandings can happen in all forms of communication.
• Remain focused!
• Learn how to deal with conflict in a constructive manner.  Compromise is key
• Ask for help when you need it.
• Remain calm and in control
• Clarify your own ideas before attempting to communicate them

The most common cause of misunderstanding arises from assuming that the words used are the object. Two people can then be arguing about a concept, referring to it by using the same word and arguing because this word means something different to each of them.  Remember… to be meaningful, words must establish the same thought in both the sender and receiver of a communication.
~Michael

Michael fletcher is the CEO and founder of Neworld Coaching, a Business Coaching company in Stratford Ontario Canada serving clients virtually all over the world!  You can sign up for Neworld workshops in the events section at: www.neworldcoaching.com